Archive for May 2010

Kutti Chuvar Chronicles – Part 2

May 24, 2010

Hello virtual kutti chuvarites (yes.. you are a kutti chuvarite too if you’re reading this post. Real time kutti chuvar discussions do linger in the same intellectual platform and this post is nothing more than an intellectual threshold.) As promised in my last post, this post will contain a sneak peek into the world of kutti chuvarites and the corresponding mapping of knowledge management concepts namely:

  • Knowledge gathering
  • Sharing of Best Practices
  • Forecasting with minimal or no data
  • Zero Knowledge leakage

Expanding them….this is what happens…

Knowledge Gathering:

Kutti Chuvarite 1 – Machi a new family has moved into that duplex house in 14th street.

Kutti Chuvarite 2 – Pray tell me how is that useful to us?

Kutti Chuvarite 1 – There is a girl in that house. I saw her machi…she is GORGEOUS…

Kutti Chuvarite 2 – Now you’re talking. Details please…

Kutti Chuvarite 1 – Thats all I know man, I dont have a clue about her name or which college she goes.

Kutti Chuvarite 3 – Behold folks, what if I tell you her name, where she studies, whats her pet’s name??? Can I expect a bhel puri in Settu kadai(Chaat shop owned by a Seth) in market?

Kutti Chuvarite 1, 2,4,5,6 – Spill it out…

Kutti Chuvarite 3 – She is Aishwarya Trivedi…studying BCA in Stella Maris..went to Bal Lok school. (If any of you readers feel a prickly feeling in your heart hearing this name, the offense is intentional :))

Sharing of Best Practices:

Kutti Chuvarite 4 – One of us definitely have to go talk to her.

Kutti Chuvarite 3 – Machi, let me give you an idea. I saw her Orkut profile and she has mentioned her ideal match is Hrithik Roshan.

Kutti Chuvarite 5 – What? Hrithik Roshana? How can I build my body like him? I’m out of the contest I guess.

Kutti Chuvarite 3 – Dei, at least wear some clothes like him and get a haircut like him in the movie “Kites”. One of her friends too has haircut like Hrithik. She will definitely talk to you if you get at least Hrithik like Hairstyle. (typical of a best practice isn’t it??? No one wants to use them personally, but wait until others use them and find out if it really works…)

Forecasting skills with minimal or no data:

Kutti Chuvarite 6 – Machi ava family name Trivedi. Appdinna ava North Indian figure’a? (Her family name is Trivedi. Then is she a north Indian figure?).  Enga veetla othukka maattangaleda….(My parents won’t accept North Indian girl da.) Yen future nasama poche..(My future is gone) (Forecasting what will happen in 10 years. This does need talent.)

Kutti Chuvarite 4 – I dont have that problem. My parents have no problem with the girl being North Indian, East Indian, West Indian or even American Indian.(Forecasting again, but with a postive outlook. Now who has the chance of atleast talking to that girl???)

Kutti Chuvarite 3 – Dei stop it idiots. Already started talking about marriage. First let’s clear all arrears and try to graduate.

Zero Knowledge Leakage

Kutti Chuvarite 5: Ellam ok thaan…but ava pet peru ennannu sollave illaye!!! (Everything’s ok, but you havent told her pet’s name yet)

Kutti Chuvarite 3: T-Rex Trivedi. Yes it has a last name.

Kutti Chuvarites 1,2,4,5,6 : That’s a dog or a dinosaur?

To be continued…

In the next issue of Kutti Chuvar Chronicles – examples of important life skills acquired through kutti chuvar sittings.

(Disclaimer – Aiswarya Trivedi and T-Rex Trivedi are pure imaginary characters and do not refer to any person or dinosaur or dog living or dead)

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Kutti Chuvar Chronicles – Part 1

May 21, 2010

Kutti Chuvar a.k.a Small Wall is an important part of youth life in India (or for that matter in the World). Kutti Chuvar can either be

  • A fence wall around a house
  • An old dilapidated wall from some abandoned construction
  • The terrace wall of a house
  • College corridor
  • or any small wall that can accomodate 4 to 6 young adults.

Some of the most prominent Kutti Chuvars in Chennai are Besant Nagar beach kutti chuvar, Marina Beach kutti chuvar, any kutti chuvar nearby girls colleges. 

It’s quite usual to hear in a Tamil house hold, parents and elders saying, “Ozhunga padi illenna kutti chuvara poiduva.” (Study well. If not, you will become an useless small wall).

I pity those who consider the small wall as useless, for they do not know the real capability of a kutti chuvar. In order to develop a well rounded personality, it is imperative that a kid belongs to one kutti chuvar or the other. I have seen kutti chuvar drop outs and I’m sad to say they turned out to be nerds and ended up in IIT’s. Is this what you really want your kids to be? Sure he’ll get a good job, get a high value in marriage market, travel all over the world etc. But is this all worth compared to the following, which are a direct result of getting associated with a kutti chuvar?

  • chasing after high school sweethearts in bus stops and railway stations
  • breaking the window panes of every single house in the street, playing cricket
  • chased away by cops for standing too long near Stella Maris or MOP or Ethiraj (all girls colleges)
  • watching first day first show of all movies in town (including vijay movies)
  • heckling the professor in college

If you think its all fun and no other useful purpose (well..what else could be a useful purpose in life????), then think again, for never in human history has there been a better platform for knowledge management. Kutti chuvar is where knowledge is gathered, best practices are shared, skills are honed in forecasting with minimal data, innovative ideas originate, unsolvable becomes solvable, team strategies are formulated, math skills are honed and much more. It is also probably the only KM system with minimal or zero knowledge leakage.

Kutti Chuvar - Topics of discussion

Kutti Chuvar - Topics of discussion

 Following is a typical Career/Life path of a Kutti Chuvarite, depending on his association with Kutti Chuvar.

 

 

Kutti Chuvarite Classifications & Typical Life Path

Kutti Chuvarite Classifications & Typical Life Path

 

 Click on the charts to view them full screen.

 To be continued….

In the next issue of Kutti Chuvar Chronicles – Sneak Peek into Kutti Chuvar discussions & briefing of the value chain

Meanwhile folks, do write down your favourite kutti chuvar locations…and dont forget to rate the post by clicking the number of stars at the top of the page.

Disclaimer: Idhu edhuvume seyyadha nalla paiyyan naan. (I haven’t done any of these things and I’m the goodiest of goody guy on earth. And yeah…I lie occasionally)

You can….but…

May 19, 2010

It’s amazing how social welfare groups say they fight for justice and welfare of the people and then oppose the aerated drinks only when they find the pesticide contents exceeding a certain limit. Their motto seems to be

“You can have pesticides in your drink….but only in little quantities!!”

http://europa.eu/legislation_summaries/food_safety/plant_health_checks/l21289_en.htm

This is akin to saying…..

You can watch a Vijay movie….but only till the interval!!

You can watch Doordarshan…but only Vayalum Vazhvum (Farm and Life)

It doesn’t matter if you watch a Vijay movie only until interval or you watch only Vayalum Vazhvum in DD, you’ll die a certain slow death. So will we if we keep drinking the pesticide afflicted soft drinks, irrespective of the intake quantity per bottle.

Defaulters Kneel Down!!!

May 12, 2010

Did you bring scissors and color paper for arts & crafts class? No? Then you are a defaulter. Go kneel down outside the class room.

Didn’t you submit the assignment yet? Go stand at the back of the class room?

All defaulters of holiday homework stand up on the bench!!

All shoe & belt defaulters come up on the stage…

All shoe polish defaulters run around the ground…

All default defaulters are supposed to meet the principal today at 4 PM after school.

Haven’t we all heard these uttered in almost all schools in India (except ofcourse regional language medium schools)?

( SCIMA alumni remember the defaulters sheet, black mark, red mark, golden star, black star etc.???)

If there is one thing that I feared the most in school is being classified as a default defaulter. Default defaulter is like being pulled over for “random” security checking in Newark airport everytime you go there(BTW, how random could it be when one gets pulled over 3 out of 4 times).

On the outset, it may seem that all defaultments(this word is my invention and reproducing it for commercial purposes is strictly prohibited) are bad and punished in India. Hold on all past and present default defaulters, I’ve got good news. There is a certain category of defaultment that does go unnoticed and unpunished.

Defaulting on Tax

If there is a list of crimes that one could do without any inhibition of getting caught, the list topper is sure going to be “Defaulting on Tax”.

Ask Mr.Hassan Ali who is the biggest tax defaulter in India, owing the Govt. Rs.50,000 crores ($11 billion) and still not made to kneel down, run around the school ground, stand at the back  or even stand on a bench.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasan_Ali_Khan

Also, out of 700 million working people in India, the tax paying population is only 31 million which comes to roughly 3 % of the total population.

With so many defaulters in tax, it’s a shame that only kids that don’t bring color paper, pen, pencil are punished.

BTW..producing fake rental agreements to get HRA benefits is tax evasion too.

F1 Sucks!!

May 8, 2010

Ok. Let me tell you why….

It’s a sport where drivers go round and round on a piece of circular road for about 60 times.

There is no point system to keep track of scores.

The audience get to see the cars driving past for a fraction of a second, rest of the time they watch it on TV, even while on the game arena.

A guy who lags behind in 59 laps but comes first in 60th lap can be a winner.

The roads are neatly paved and are in good driving condition.

Medical help is a few feet away.

All co-drivers are sensible people.

So why would anyone watch such a sport where there is no thrill of anything ever happenning except for the last second? Please help me understand whats the fun in watching them ride for 60 laps?

F1 afficianados, answer these questions for me…

1. Can the F1 drivers ride on such roads?

Chennai Pothole

Can the F1 Drivers drive in such roads?

2. Do the F1 drivers have to tackle Chennai autorickshaws that have their windshield totally covered by a picture of their favourite filmstar and drive only with the help of God?

Chennai Autorickshaw Windshield

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle Chennai autorickshaws that have their windshield totally covered by a picture of their favourite filmstar and drive only with the help of God?

3. Do the F1 drivers have to tackle Chennai Metro bus drivers who can stop the buses only by hitting a tree or a light post or a wall?

Chennai Bus

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle Chennai bus drivers who can stop the buses only by crashing into a tree, wall or a light post?

4.Do the F1 drivers have to tackle projectiles (cricket balls) from kids playing on the street?

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle projectiles (cricket balls) from kids playing on the street?

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle projectiles (cricket balls) from kids playing on the street?

5. Do the F1 drivers have to tackle cows on the roads? (India is the only country where the animals also have equal rights.)

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle cows on the roads? (India is the only country where the animals also have equal rights.)

Do the F1 drivers have to tackle cows on the roads? (India is the only country where the animals also have equal rights.)

6. Do the F1 drivers have to fear that the overloaded truck in front may capsize anytime and crush them?

Overloaded Truck

Do the F1 drivers have to fear that the overloaded truck in front may capsize anytime and crush them?

7. Do the F1 drivers have to worry about road caving in anytime?

Do the F1 drivers have to worry about road caving in anytime?

Do the F1 drivers have to worry about road caving in anytime?

8. Do the F1 Drivers have the skill set to negotiate this traffic and reach home for dinner?

Do the F1 Drivers have the skill set to negotiate this traffic and reach home for dinner?

Do the F1 Drivers have the skill set to negotiate this traffic and reach home for dinner?

9. Do the F1 Drivers have to tackle hazardous material scattered in the road, courtesy of corporation of Chennai?

Do the F1 Drivers have to tackle hazardous material scattered in the road, courtesy of corporation of Chennai?

Do the F1 Drivers have to tackle hazardous material scattered in the road, courtesy of corporation of Chennai?

10. Finally, can the F1 drivers  drive  in an intersection that doesn’t have a traffic light?

Finally, can the F1 drivers  drive  in an intersection that doesn't have a traffic light?

Finally, can the F1 drivers drive in an intersection that doesn't have a traffic light?

Now let me smack talk to you F1 fans. My drive to work which is just 4 kms away is more thrilling and eventful than a 70 lap F1 game. I think this game can be a good competitor for Sura – the Vijay movie for torturing captured terrorists.

If you still find F1 fascinating, get a shrink.

(psst…if you like this post, please hit the stars  and rate it at the top of the post. If you don’t like this post, don’t search for un-star/un-like option, coz there is none :))

Explained in 6 lines – Employee Union Strikes in India & Vijay’s Sura

May 4, 2010

Employee union: We will not go to work until we get pay rise and better working conditions

Govt.: Files lawsuits and suspends striking employees

Employee union: Lets negotiate; Take back suspended employees and cancel the lawsuits.

Govt.: Lets negotiate; Go back to work

Employees go back to work and Govt takes back employees and cancels lawsuits.

General public: “Sura” padam paartha madhiri irukku. Onnume puriyala aana mokkai matternnu mattum theriyudhu. (Feels like just watched actor Vijay’s “Sura” movie. Couldn’t understand what’s going on but I know the matter is a mokkai.)

Psst…I think I need to update my Mokkai explanation and upgrade “Soora mokkai” to “Sura mokkai”  🙂

Matri’money’ and South Indian Boys.

May 2, 2010

After spending a week in gloom of not receiving my $2.7 million from Sgt.James Cottingham, I spent some quality time with friends who gave me some valuable insights into the marriage market in South India.

This post will enlighten why boys from South India stand in one leg, head, hand,eye, ear etc. to get good education.

Its not because to get a good job or to get a good house in Besant Nagar or to save the family name or any of that bull &$@*.

Its because of this:

Partner Preferences of South Indian Girls

Partner Preferences of South Indian Girls

Though this is bad news for guys, let me break the news girls.

“There is no one with the above said educational, occupational, financial, residential qualifications.”

Although there might be one guy who might match atleast the educational, occupational and annual salary requirement. But sorry girls, he is already taken. And he is none other than:

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.

.

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.

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.

.

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.

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Most Eligible Married Man - Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

Most Eligible Married Man - Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

While girls have such high expectations with regards to educational, occupational, financial, and other cial, nal qualifications, guys seem to have just one requirement.

(This is strictly based on a research among my friends)

Partner Preference of South Indian Boys

Partner Preference of South Indian Boys

Disclaimer: Readers are requested to take this light heartedly and not to concoct stories that I’m looking for girls in matrimony sites and inform my parents. Those who do so will be cursed to get caught in Mount Road traffic jam on a Friday evening.


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